6.22.01
Dear Journal, (apparently I didn't like calling it a diary much anymore)
What's goin on? I've moved to my mom's now. I am also going out with John Hojek now... i'm on the phone with him right now... We went to the movies tonight and let's just say we really didn't watch the movie, LOL (that was because we were on a group date with like 4 other couples but Tom and someone else who was single who kept throwing pennies at us or holding our noses closed when we were making out) I like him a lot. It was kinda kool. I thought that he would never talk to me, and he thought that I was really hot. I think he is too. I like him lots, and hopefully he likes me to. (he also asked me out via AIM at Joe Petritas' house on Joe's SN. Very romantic)
7.13.01
Dear Diary, (the journal think must have just been a fluke)
Yesterday was 3 weeks. My mom still doesn't know that me and Johnny are going out. Tomorrow is my graduation party. It's gonna be weird though. 5 people that I have liked are gonna be there - Josh, Johnny, Mark, Dave, and James. (The weirdest part about the whole thing was that Dave & Rene Appel even came?)
7.18.01
Dear Diary,
My party was really fun. James Doyle, Katie Roza, Mark Ruthenburg, Bridget Mitchell, Josh Lopez, Trisha Tokarz, Johnny, Dave & Rene Appel, and my cousins came. It was so funny. Me and John were sitting on my silver chair in my room and he has his arm around me, and my mom walked in, and she still doesn't know that we're going out. She was like "What is this? The love chair?" (Yeah, she was a bitch) Oh well, Saturday is 1 month, and I gotta tell her sometime. Tomorrow I am going up to NIU with my Aunt Kelly to pick up Brandon. The bad part is that Dan is there, and he and Kerry broke up, and we said that when they broke up and I was single, we would date, but I am w/ Johnny so it's all my fault this time (Yes, I'm ruining a relationship that never happened because I was currently in one -- Good thinking, process) Lately all I can think about is Dan & John because I dunno what to do about it. I love John a lot, and I mean a lot, and then there is Dan. I've wanted Dan for a year (that's nothing...) I remember the first time I saw him, and he remembers the first time he met me, too. It was totally an instant attraction to him (probably not on his part because I was fat and had really short hair at that point. Then I lost all the weight, got boobs, and highlighed my then grown out to shoulder length hair). And then there's Mark. Josh has moved on, which I'm okay with, because as soon as me and Dan are single at the same time, it's totally gonna happen (Spoiler alert:::: NO ITS NOT). I'm gonna try and play it kool tomorrow cuz Appel is gonna be there and Johnny is one of his best friends, so if something happens, i'm in DEEP shit. Is it wrong to have thoughts about kissing another guy even when you are in love? Tomorrow I am afraid that I will end up kissin' Dan, and I really shouldn't. Like I feel if I just get rid of the urge of wanting to do it, by doing it, it'll be easier. I don't wanna break up or lose what I have with John because he is the sweetest person in the world (But, didn't I say that about Dan, and possibly Eric, too?), AND SO IS DAN, but he had his chance, so maybe now he'll feel I way I felt when I couldn't have him and had to wait. Oh well, what can ya do as John would say. LOL! Well I guess I'll write tomorrow so you know what happens.
Peace.
I was so fucking cool.
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